Time to be a better sister...

I've stumbled upon a new AMAZING blog! Actually, that's a lie. No stumbling happened. The Madre actually informed me that I needed to read it. I've been obsessed with it ever since.

Please do yourself a favor and go find Momastery (I still have come no further in learning how to correctly blog on my ipad; therefore, no linking to said blog will be happening)! I don't think you will be sorry. We can all relate in one way or another. I've laughed and cried.

For me, this blog has really helped me relate to the sister. At least, I feel like maybe I kind of understand her a little bit better. The sister is a lost soul. A beautiful beautiful, but very lost soul. Due to this, she is floating through this life and doing everything possible to avoid reality.

It also made me feel like I am a shit sister. I'm doing it all wrong and this whole time I thought I was doing it right. I thought all of my tough love would wake her up. It won't. I am slowly realizing this. It does not mean that tough love will not continue. I think there will still be a need for it, but I think I need to step up my role as a support. As a true sister and less of a second mother to her (poor baby has always had two mama's).

The sister has a lot of our father in her. This is a scary reality! The father has a big heart and is a good person, but he is broken. Like the sister, he avoids reality and drowns his pain in wine. Big gallons of it (Carlo Rossi Blush to be exact and sometimes he reverts back to his liquor days). With each sip I'm certain he relaxes as all feelings begin to float away and numbness sets in. I believe that the sister does this in other ways. She won't really admit to it, but all signs are pointing in that general direction. The escape from reality route. The one where she doesn't have to grow up, face her fears, or take responsibility for her life. It's easy for her there in this bubble and it is maddening for those around her that love her.

I wish that I could fix the sister, but I know that she is going to have to figure this out on her own. All that I can really do is provide unconditional love and support. I will have to re-train my brain on how to do this for her. I think that I do a pretty good job at this for my friends. The just listening and giving sound advice when needed. Now I just need to apply this to the sister. Be her safe place because she needs that and she needs that from someone who loves her with an incomparable ferocity.

I'm just the girl for the job...