A little front porch sitting...

disclaimer-I'm going to attempt a Saturday regular of my thoughts entitled "a little front porch sitting". We will see how long it lasts. Also, this may or may not be a long one!

October is slipping through my fingers. I feel as if I posted about my love for this month yesterday! Time is really going by entirely too fast. Why is it as we get older time seems to hit the fast forward button? I guess it is just greater affirmation that we need to enjoy the moment we are in and not focus on the past or future because if we do that we are missing out on the moments in front of our face. I need to keep reminding myself of this! "Time...it's the most valuable thing you have and it's always depreciating!" ~words from a dear friend.

Being present minded...I wish it wasn't easier said than done! You can attempt to move forward, but you'll have those people in your life that will pull you into the past. They will not let go of moments and they will find ways to remind you of those moments! They kind of remind me of quicksand because no matter how much you struggle to get up and move on, they will hold on with a fierce grip and pull you down back into those memories.

So, yet again life has slapped me in the face with another lesson learned! Don't put your energy into friendships when these "friends" don't reciprocate the energy. Friendship is a two way street and if people can't accept you for who you are (good, bad, and indifferent) they are not a true friend. If they can't forgive (don't expect them to forget though)it is probably better to move forward. "Friendship is when people know all about you but like you anyway."~ unknown

I like to think that I'm pretty logical when it comes to life. I can own up to the wrong that I have done. For me there is no sense in denying it because we all will do wrong and cause grief or heartache for others in our life. Most of the time it is not intentional and there is some underlying emotion that brings our ugly side out. Some skeleton in the closet that likes to rear it's ugly head from time to time. By no means does it make those actions okay! And maybe not...maybe your life is straight rainbows and unicorns and you have never caused hurt for someone else! Doubtful though.

I also realize there is a fine line in this particular life lesson of mine. When someone owns up to their struggles that person has to make an effort to change it. The other party can only put up with things for so long before it becomes too much. I get this and probably understand this better than they do. Because I went through it...I was the other person putting up with someone struggling. Albeit a different type of relationship, but there comes a time when you either cut that person out of your life or you accept them for who they are and you CAN'T continuously punish them or bring up the past. Holding onto to those moments doesn't do anyone any good. It just causes pain for the person trying to change and for the person holding the grudge, it poisons your soul.

If you are experiencing a struggle in a relationship of yours and despite what side you are on, ask yourself, Is it time to cut my losses or forgive? Either way you must move forward! Holding onto the past will only break you down. Work on today so that your tomorrow can be a better one! Forgive others and yourself when you fall because we will always fall. It's how you handle picking yourself up that shows your strength.

For those of you who have come into my life and left...thank you! For those who have come into my life and stayed...thank you! You have each taught me a valuable lesson in life and have made me a better and stronger person. I am forever grateful for those lessons, even if they were painful ones!

Here's to moving FORWARD...

Happy 6 years...

I really should have written this post last month, but for whatever reason I wasn't really in the writing mood in September. Also, to be honest it didn't dawn on me until about a week ago or so that I had my 6 year anniversary!

Six years ago on a September morning I awoke with a raging headache (partly hungover and partly from a night spent crying my eyes out) and said my goodbyes to the boy I spent 6 years of my life with. I got into my car that held whatever personal items I could possibly shove into it and drove away from a life I had started to build in my first place.

I anticipated the feeling of a deep sadness growing with each hour that I drove further away from the life I had grown so accustomed to. Instead, each hour that passed another weight lifted and I had this feeling of freedom and excitement! I wasn't prepared for that at all and ironically enough my surge of happiness kind of made me sad. Strange how that happens, isn't it?

Later that evening we arrived to Charleston, SC, the city that welcomed me with open arms and took me on a wonderful journey! The city that brought me some of the best friends a girl could ask for. The place that I learned how to let go of an unhealthy relationship (the process wasn't always easy). The place where I finally realized the importance of making myself happy first. So many fun and memorable times and moments that I will always cherish! Charleston will always have a special place in my heart and thankfully I'm only 2 hours away and can visit whenever I want.

You're probably wondering why I would leave a place that I talk so highly of? That is how life works. It takes you on a journey and throws other options your way. I had a chance to make a good career decision and Hilton Head had an allure to it, so I chose to see where this new place would take me. I admit I hated it the first year and moved 15 minutes away to Bluffton the next year. Bluffton has been really good to me and I love this place as well!

Anyways, I'm getting slightly off track.

Six years ago I made the hardest and BEST decision of my life! I left my comfort zone and the person that I loved so very much. The person I fought to make it work with until I was just so emotionally exhausted and started losing sight of who I was. I thought I would crumble into a million pieces leaving him. I thought my stay would be a six month to a year experience and then we would get back together with a renewed love. That is until I got in my car and started driving. Until I arrived to this new place that immediately became my home. Until I realized that I completely lost who I was. What a great feeling it is to get yourself back again!

So, Happy 6 Years to my new life and what a glorious life it is...

fall in love with yourself...

I'm going to give a little dating advice here. Which may seem quite hilarious if you've read any of my posts about my dating life! But, I have found (my opinion) I am an excellent advice giver and a horrible advice taker. I think that goes for a lot of people, but I really love giving advice and like to think I'm pretty good at it. So, anyways, when a dear friend of mine asked for advice or really just vented her frustration, I was all about giving some advice. Which got me to thinking I should share with whatever few readers I have...

I think what I'm about to share is not a secret to anyone, but something that is VERY important for every person to live by and something people ignore. The ONLY way to be happy in a relationship is to first be happy with YOU!!! Do not ever go looking for a relationship so that other person can be responsible for YOUR happiness! That is a heavy responsibility and one that the other person will surely fail at over time. Not only because it will be exhausting for them to continuously try to make you happy, but because you will find that you're still not really happy even though you have this person that you thought would change your world. It may bring about a false sense of happiness that can last some time, but at some point you will realize you're creating more heartache for yourself and probably driving that person you "love" insane in the process. It isn't fair for either individual involved.

I'm not saying you have to get all conceded and narcissistic...in fact don't do that because that is also a recipe for disaster in relationships. But, DO take time to figure out what makes you happy and fall in love with yourself. Be confident in who you are and find happiness within yourself! I can't tell you exactly how to do this, but I know it involves a lot of self reflection.

Women in particular should heed this advice because we are the ones forever chasing that Prince Charming fairytale. Looking for that man to sweep us off our feet and give us our "happily ever after". This often has us focus on everything BUT what we really want and what really makes us happy with who we are as people. Because once you are truly happy with you, it is bound to open up more opportunity to meet and fall in love with the right person and really have that happily ever after!

"When you LOVE yourself and ACCEPT yourself, you won't have to go seeking love and acceptance. IT WILL FIND YOU!" - the single woman

I've got the loving myself thing down; now I just need to figure out how to not be allergic to relationships...

A little front porch sitting...

Have I told you before how much I love my front porch? I could only improve it by getting one of those comfy single hammock swings and have water front property instead of being a street away, but I make do.

I've been having a lot of: I'm so in love with life moments! I'm not sure where it's coming from, but I sure am grateful for these moments. They are almost overwhelming and will just pop up unexpectedly. Like when I'm driving down the road with my windows down and the music up. Or like right now, on my front porch with a big glass of Chardonnay and the cool breeze blowing.

Despite the struggles one may be faced with you have to find some joy in each and every day! Even if it is just a tiny moment...enjoy the ever living daylights out of that moment. Life is just way too short to not soak in as much joy as you can! I think when you start really focusing on those small good moments in each day you will find that you'll have more good than bad.

I hope you have an I'm so in love with life moment soon because they are glorious...

Happy October...

It's a sunny and chilly 67 degrees this fine first day of October! One of my very fave months of the year. The time when fall really feels like it's setting in. When we can start making all those delish cooler weather foods that you don't really want to eat when it's a sweltering 100 degrees out; like soups and chilli. When my drink of choice switches from vodka and water to bourbon and coke or ginger ale. It makes you want to snuggle a little closer to your flame of the month (or if you're into relationships your significant other)! A time when my weekend porch sessions welcome a delish big cup of coffee instead of resulting in a puddle of sweat. Don't get me wrong, I'm also wildly in love with summer, but there is something about Fall that makes my heart extremely happy!

Happy first day of October...