Another one bites the dust...

Let's add another failed miserable attempt to some resemblance of a "relationship" to my list. I'm sad and I'm not really sure if I'm sad because it didn't work with him or if because it just didn't work? I'm going to say more of the "it just didn't work", but that's not to say that I won't miss him! I will! But, I think we want different things and I don't think we had much of a future. Plus, he was happy with it not being a committed relationship.

Which got me thinking, what is a relationship? I mean I technically haven't been in one for five years and it was a long distance one that was short lived. Which puts me back at six years since my last real relationship and I was SO young at that time. I don't really know the rules anymore.

I just know that I was starting to become unhappy with continuing on the same path. I want to be with someone who really wants to be with me. He said he didn't really want a relationship and was happy with how things were. That he was still dealing with issues from his past relationship that has made him guarded. Which to me all translated to "im just not that into you"! But, I also have my issues like not being able to talk about my feelings without becoming paralyzed with fear. When those talks start I begin to close up and panic! I expect that the way I act is going to let someone know how I feel about things, but I do know with men they need to be told. They are not really known for picking up on moods. So, it was my bad for expecting something different when I couldn't even tell him what I wanted.

I'll just add this to my list of lessons learned! I'm just ready for a guy to come into my life who really wants to be in it. Also, the next time I hear a guy tell me he "isn't ready for a relationship" I'm going to run...