Giving Thanks...

It's one of my favorite days of the year!!!! A day full of laughter, cooking, drinking, and reflecting on the many reasons I'm thankful.

I try to give thanks each and every day and not just limit it to this one day. I believe that when you reflect on the good more good will come. Take the time to appreciate what you DO have and you will probably realize that there is so much more that you have than have not. I'm not saying you HAVE to do this, but I'm suggesting that you give it a go. Just try it. I have a feeling your heart will be happy that you did!

My reflection of thanks:
I'm so very THANKFUL for the direction that my life has taken me this past year. For the AMAZING people that are in my life (it's a pretty big list and I'm sure they know who they are). For the struggles, lessons learned, and the personal growth they afforded me. For a job where my empolyer treats me like family. For my little cottage that really is perfect for me. For my health...even my sidekick fiby (fibromyalgia has taught me how to put on a smile and brave face even when my body feels like it is attacking me). I'm thankful for each day that I awake and have the opportunity to make it the best.

I have a pretty wonderful life and wonderful people to share it with. Looking forward to the rest of this journey and to see where it takes me!

I hope that everyone has a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving full of family, friends, laughter, and reflection!


"It is not happy people who are thankful. It is THANKFUL people who are HAPPY!"

She needs me, she really needs me...

The sister came to town this weekend and what a great time we had! I think I will even dare to say that we are finally getting to that point where we are CLOSE. I've been praying for this day.

You see we have 7 years between us and the poor child grew up with two mothers. Her actual mother and then me, the wanna be mama! I wanted her to love me so much and look up to me that I probably suffocated her a little bit and therefore she was very distant. But, I'm not ashamed to realize where I am wrong in any type of relationship and I realize that if you want something to be different, YOU have to change YOUR behavior. So, I've been working on being less of a mama and more of the big sister. It can be tough because I want to lecture and sometimes smack the shit out of her, but I refrain. I have to remind myself that it is HER life and she will find her way. She is just a little lost at the moment.

So, she called me and told me that she needed to get away and wanted to come see ME!!! The girl reached out to me for probably the first time in her life and it put me on cloud 9. My baby needed her big sister and I was happy to oblige!

I look forward to her reaching out to me more often and building on this friendship that was started this weekend. HAPPY HEART :)

Happy 6 years...

I really should have written this post last month, but for whatever reason I wasn't really in the writing mood in September. Also, to be honest it didn't dawn on me until about a week ago or so that I had my 6 year anniversary!

Six years ago on a September morning I awoke with a raging headache (partly hungover and partly from a night spent crying my eyes out) and said my goodbyes to the boy I spent 6 years of my life with. I got into my car that held whatever personal items I could possibly shove into it and drove away from a life I had started to build in my first place.

I anticipated the feeling of a deep sadness growing with each hour that I drove further away from the life I had grown so accustomed to. Instead, each hour that passed another weight lifted and I had this feeling of freedom and excitement! I wasn't prepared for that at all and ironically enough my surge of happiness kind of made me sad. Strange how that happens, isn't it?

Later that evening we arrived to Charleston, SC, the city that welcomed me with open arms and took me on a wonderful journey! The city that brought me some of the best friends a girl could ask for. The place that I learned how to let go of an unhealthy relationship (the process wasn't always easy). The place where I finally realized the importance of making myself happy first. So many fun and memorable times and moments that I will always cherish! Charleston will always have a special place in my heart and thankfully I'm only 2 hours away and can visit whenever I want.

You're probably wondering why I would leave a place that I talk so highly of? That is how life works. It takes you on a journey and throws other options your way. I had a chance to make a good career decision and Hilton Head had an allure to it, so I chose to see where this new place would take me. I admit I hated it the first year and moved 15 minutes away to Bluffton the next year. Bluffton has been really good to me and I love this place as well!

Anyways, I'm getting slightly off track.

Six years ago I made the hardest and BEST decision of my life! I left my comfort zone and the person that I loved so very much. The person I fought to make it work with until I was just so emotionally exhausted and started losing sight of who I was. I thought I would crumble into a million pieces leaving him. I thought my stay would be a six month to a year experience and then we would get back together with a renewed love. That is until I got in my car and started driving. Until I arrived to this new place that immediately became my home. Until I realized that I completely lost who I was. What a great feeling it is to get yourself back again!

So, Happy 6 Years to my new life and what a glorious life it is...

The BEST answered prayer...

Kailey Elizabeth Adams, born this day 21 short years ago!

I'm going to take you back to a September morning in 1989 (I do not remember the exact date...I was only 6 and exact dates didn't matter to me then), a morning that I'm sure was like most mornings for my typical 6 yr old self. I'm sure I awoke grumpily, thumping down the steps while wiping sleep out of my eyes, and plopping myself in front of the tv to catch an episode of Gumby and My Little Ponies while the madre was probably trying to make me get moving. What was different that morning is that the madre told me she would have a present awaiting me when I returned from school! I just knew in my heart of hearts I was getting the Barbie doll I had been begging for. The Loving You Barbie (I tried uploading an image with no success...surprise surprise). I'm sure that I was bragging to all my friends at recess about my present that was waiting for me at home.

I remember getting off the school bus, the anticipation building...I remember climbing up the steps of our back porch and meeting the madre at the door searching her hands for a rectangular shaped box wrapped in pretty paper. No box! Instead she told me to look in her purse for my present. Good thinking madre...add to the suspense by putting it in your purse. She was good like that. No box! I'm pretty sure I gave her the what the hell look when I didn't see my precious Barbie. Instead she pulled out a picture and to me it looked like a black and white blob. You can imagine my disappointment...I felt like a balloon that deflated. That is until she told me what that black and white blob meant!

Let's back it up a little more. I was 6 at this point and as far back as my memory can take me I had wanted a brother or sister. Okay, so I really wanted a brother, but this is because my best friends were boys and I thought they were so cool! I remember asking the madre when I was going to get one and praying every night. I'm sure I told God that I would be a good girl if he gave me a brother or sister. I always liked being around babies and younger kids than me. I liked being older and "in charge".

So, when the madre told me that I was going to be a big sister my balloon filled right back up...so much so that it was near bursting. I finally got my wish...my prayer was answered! I loved my brother/sister so much even if he/she was just a blob. I was SO proud of that picture and it was the best surprise the madre ever gave me.

Fast forward to when this cute little girl came into the world. I was so proud to be her big sister. I made the madre bring her to my class for show and tell...true story! I couldn't wait to show her off to everyone! I did not like actually sharing her though because I thought she was all mine. Most of her baby pictures are of me holding her. I think the madre may have one or two of just them and the madres head is cut out...I was a lousy photographer. I even tried to get her to call me mommy when she started to talk. Can you say obsessed?

Growing up 7 years apart wasn't always peaches and cream. I didn't always want her around when I neared my teenage years and there were times when I was down right awful to her. Don't worry, she has paid me back! There are times when I act too much of the mother role and not enough of the big sister role. I am working on this! However, the one constant is the amount of love I have for my baby sister.

~Kailey... I am so thankful that God chose me to be your big sister. It is such a rewarding role in my life and I can only hope that as the years continue our bond will grow stronger. I know that my motherly tendencies drive you bat shit crazy, but I have a fierce love for you. I worry because I love. I push because I love. I want the very best that life has to offer and I want you to want that for yourself!

You are approaching an exciting time in your life! Forget the whole legally being able to drink...you've been sneaking (not successfully by the way) the madres booze for some time now ;) The exciting part is you are at an age where you can EXPLORE and make exciting things happen for your life. You have nothing holding you back from travel and discovering who you are!

I want to leave you with words of wisdom and inspire you in some way. I'm afraid I can't think of anything at the moment. Just remember this...don't be afraid of the mistakes you will make in life, take these as growing experiences. Don't be afraid to dig deep and ask yourself "what do I want from this life?". Then don't be afraid to do whatever it takes to make it happen! Remember that you can't make everyone happy with your life choices...just worry about making yourself happy! Don't live your life in the past...whatever you do don't do that. Our past wasn't always pretty, but it made us who we are today! If you spend your time in the past you won't be able to create your future.

I love you more than you will ever know boo! You are my best answered prayer.

"A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost."

On a side note: I never did get that Loving You Barbie...